WONDERFUL LIFESTYLE: Yoga Myths Debunked

Is it just a trend? Is it a religion? Is it all about the poses and twisting yourself into a pretzel? Yoga is a beautiful practice and this article will help shed some light on the active craze that's swept the world over.

MYTH: You have to be Buddhist or Hindu to practice a Yoga lifestyle.

FACT: Yoga isn't a religion!

True, it was founded in India and incorporates several principles of different beliefs, but Yoga does not point you towards any specific faith. It's a practice one can incorporate with whatever you believe. It's about connectivity, respect of life, and knowing yourself on the deepest level.

MYTH: Yoga is about getting bendy and knotting yourself into crazy poses.

FACT: That's only one element of the practice.

There are 8 limbs of Yoga, each with it's own focus for mental, spiritual and physical development. (Look for an upcoming article explaining each limb.) Asana is the most popular limb, as it is the practice of breathing and creating shapes with body used in gyms across the world. But it is enhanced by the other limbs.

MYTH: I have to be a vegetarian to be serious about Yoga

FACT: Carnivores welcomed.

There's a debate on whether Ahimsa (non-violence) extends to what we eat, versus a focus on what we do. I say eat it!

MYTH: Only Women and Hippies do Yoga

FACT: Everyone can benefit from it.

For example, let's look at downward dog. Some of the benefits are as follows:

Aids in Digestion             Strengthens Immune System          Promotes Blood Circulation
 
                             Strengthens bones and muscle   Relieves back pain

There are TONS of benefits related to practicing Yoga. There's yoga for headaches, for relaxation, for focus, even for better sex! Plus, each asana (pose) offers it's own benefits on several levels like anti-aging, hair growth, skin, and more! (Look out for an article focused on the benefits of Yoga.)

MYTH: I Can't Do It.

FACT: Everyone Can Do Yoga!

Remember, Yoga is much more than exercise. It's about calming the mind, being at peace with oneself and one's surroundings, and living well. For those focused on the physical attributes, sure, you may not be able to do a headstand right outta the gate (or ever), but Yoga is so varied that there's a pose for every level.

Give Yoga a try. Take 15-20 minutes to explore the practice a few times this week and see if you don't feel the benefits in your everyday life. I love my practice!

BEAUTIFUL FAMILY > Squash Sibling Rivary

It's really sad to me when I hear about people who haven't spoken to their family members for years due to fallouts over money, betrayal, or what not. I understand that some things seem unforgivable, but I can't imagine intentionally distancing myself from my flesh and blood for the rest of my life. I would fight for our relationship until sheer exhaustion.

I'm not naive, it takes all parties involved to make a relationship work and one sided efforts typically don't amount to much. But, if you believe your family is worth fighting for, here are some suggestions I hope will make a real difference.

Decide to Stop Fighting

My sister and I argue a lot. It's stupid really, we can make a big deal over anything and end up fuming and ruining an otherwise pleasant evening. Six months ago, I decided to stop fighting. If there was a problem, I wouldn't be the one doing the bickering. I think a few seconds longer before I respond now, and avoid saying things in offense. I definitely speak my mind, but I try not to say anything that could set her off. I love my sister and I hate arguing in general, and the decision to stop fighting has made our interactions much more enjoyable. We're sisters again.

Reach Out

Call them up and invite them to dinner. Or go see a comedy then go out for ice cream after. You want to create positive space between you so that when you reach out, you both are in a good place. By reaching out, I do not mean start talking about why you hate how they talk to your kids or whatever. Reaching out is a small gesture that opens up room for healing. You say, "Ben, I'm really glad we did this. I love it when we can just have fun together, and I want things to be better between us. Don't you?" You are by no means to start debating about past issues. Don't do anything that could alter the mood from light and happy. Simply have a good time, so the next time you talk/meet, they'll remember the good vibes you shared.

Identify the Problem

What are you fighting about? Why are you angry? When did the madness start? What is it about them, or more importantly, what is it inside of you that's got you all worked up? Some people have been disputing for so long, they don't even remember why it started in the first place. Take time alone to reflect on the source of your emotions. If you can be honest with yourself, you'll find out your true feelings and can work toward articulating them to your brother/sister, slowly and in pieces. Don't overwhelm them by unloading everything at once. You might be surprised at their response.

Seek Counseling 

I don't know why getting a professional mediator puts a bad taste in people's mouth because it is one of the most freeing experiences out there. It's the only place you can vent and come completely undone without being attacked. Once your tantrums are over, a counselor will help you discover things about yourself and the situation from a new perspective and ask those hard questions no one is willing to ask. They specialize in behavior and will advise you on how to alter your thinking in ways that help you in your daily life to be happier and relationships healthier. Now, unfortunately, there are some quacks out there so do your research. But the great ones guide you towards progress. Isn't peace in your family worth paying for?

You have to do your part, wholeheartedly. If you want to repair your sisterhood/brotherhood, you must commit to being honest, open, and keeping a positive attitude as much as possible. My experiences have taught me the power of a prayer life. Pray for self control over the words you let come from your mouth, and that your sibling's heart remains tender towards you. Pray for guidance and understanding. God is the only one I know who restores. Walk the walk and never stop trying. You may not be able to go back to the good ole days, but you can bring love back into your relationship with your sister or brother.

WONDERFUL THREADS > Formula For The Perfect OOTD

Ever see someone looking so fierce that it baffled you? How did they know how to pair those shoes with that dress and manage to look absolutely stunning? You think to yourself, "If I tried that on, I'd look like potato sack" but the truth is, you can pull a similar look off with some minor adjustments. The trick is knowing how to use style components to formulate your OOTD. Here's another 101 guide to looking your best.

STEP ONE: Fit

You know the expression "If the shoe fits, wear it?" I want you to add, "and if it doesn't fit, fix it until it does." When designers create their clothing line, they are basing their measurements off of mannequins that are representations of real bodies, so its no surprise that a third of the things on the rack are too small, a third too big, and the rest will simply have to do. The secret to looking fabulous in everything you wear is to get it tailored. Don't have the cash to hire someone? Break out a pincushion and YouTube some DIY videos on doing it yourself. Practice makes perfect, and sewing is a life skill everyone could use.





STEP TWO: Texture

How does it feel? I reference fabric detailing in my previous post on Building The Closet Of Your Dreams, but it's important here too. Again, cheap materials look cheap and can irritate your skin. But when it comes to texture, you'll also want to keep in mind how textures look against each other. A denim jacket over a t-shirt and a pair of jeans is hardly interesting. But replace that jacket with a silk scarf and now you've got something!





STEP THREE: Print

Similar to texture, you want pieces to compliment each other, not blend into one another. I've seen my fair share of matching catastrophes where the belief that one color from head to toe (literally) made them a fashionista. Don't get me wrong, black is always flattering, but not if the shades don't match and you look like you belong in the Matrix. An easy way to start incorporating print is to wear one print piece among your solids. Then, slowly, start to up your number until you feel confident in this area. Just remember, not everyone should wear more than 3 different prints in one outfit.








STEP FOUR: Sparkle

Bling is just the thing to add luxury to any look, if done properly. Typically, just a touch will do. Your accessories are perfect to add just the right amount of sparkle and give your look sophistication. Makeup is a fun way shine, but careful with the glitter. (It can easily come off as juvenile.) If you choose to use your wardrobe, you want to be careful not to overdo it, otherwise you'll end up looking gaudy. Dark colors down play sequins, the same for matte textures with patent leather. There aren't too many people (certainly none I've ever come across) who can pull off sequin pants, so when trying something new, I re-interject the importance of fit.



STEP FIVE: Statement Piece

This is la creme de la resistance! Your statement piece demands attention the moment you walk into the room. It is bold, defined, and can be used to easily strike up a conversation with new friends. It can be anything: a bag, a necklace, shoes, a headband, even eyelashes! You just want to make sure that you calculate it with the rest of your look. If you've chosen a suede clutch, then you may have to think again about that suede vest. If it's a houndstooth skirt, then ditch the aztec belt. Some people formulate their OOTD around the statement piece. For best results, try everything on and look in the mirror. If you're second guessing something, go for something else you feel more confident wearing.


You now have the artillery you need to create spectacular OOTD every single day. But for heaven's sake, don't forget about color!!

I'll post my own ensembles in the ME tab in my weekly updates. Now go forth and conquer!

IMPECCABLE KNOWLEDGE > Study Like A Boss

You're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy (that is, unless you actually are in Kansas.) Welcome to the wonderful world of college where last minute term papers won't cut it, and there's hardly any "easy A's" to be found.

Extra credit? Fa-get about it!

Sure you were on the honor role in high school, but it's going to take a lot more than memorization to be successful during undergrad. Here are five pointers to study smarter, as told by minions from Despicable Me. (Why not?)

1. Get A Tutor The First Week Of Class

Most colleges offer tutoring services from fellow scholars at little or no cost to students. If you're taking Chemistry this semester, and the only reference H2O brings to mind is The Water Boy, then you may need a tutor. Why struggle with a class if you can get help in the beginning? If you know something isn't your strong suit, you can get the assistance necessary to thrive in the classroom.

2. Study The Syllabus

Curriculum guidelines require that professors submit a syllabus for students stating what to expect from the course. Some only list reading assignments and test dates. Invest in a planner or wall calendar and post these dates for everyday reference. Awesome professors go a step further and list homework assignments! If you take the time to map out your courses at the start of the term, you'll save yourself from missing deadlines and will be able to stay on top of everything.

3. Read Before Class

Gone are the days where you just "showed up" to class to find out what's going on. Your professors expect you to have some working knowledge of the text (most likely for participation purposes) so you need to read before class. You'll gain a better understanding of the content because they'll explain things you may not have fully understood from the text with examples.

(I'll post an article about how to best read those giant textbooks in the near future)

4. Take Notes

There are 3 main methods of learning: auditory or verbal, pictures or visual, and kinesthetically. If you're a kinesthetic learner, like myself, then you learn best by doing. Taking notes reinforces your learning because you are able to use your book as a visual source, the lecture for verbal absorption, and writing as the kinesthetic process. Because this will help you learn better, you won't have to study as much because it'll 'stick' more in your brain.

(An article on note taking soon to come)

5. Find Your Study Flow

It's important to have a routine for learning, because we are creatures of habit. If you're a morning person, then late night sessions are probably not going to be very productive and vice verser. Find a place that's well lit and study in that same spot. This puts your mind in "study mode." Stay away from TV and Facebook, and be sure to dress comfortably. Music is alright as long as it isn't distracting and snacks are a must.

College courses are challenging, but they don't have to be a struggle. Master these tips and watch your grades get better every week! 

BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE > Before You Say I Do

Congratulations! At last, your love has come along, the one who makes you see fireworks. Apparently you can feel the love tonight, there's a sparkle in your eye, and ain't no stopping you now. They want to make your house a home, but do you have what it takes to make it last? (Hope you're enjoying all these love song puns!)

On a serious note, are you ready to make this kind of commitment and live with your decision, always and forever? (I had to do it.)

Talking before your big day is critical to the success of the relationship. Problems stem from our expectations of marriage. You have this idea in your head of what it looks like, and so does your mate, but if you're not talking, these views are bound to clash down the line. So sit down and hash out all the hard stuff before you walk down that aisle. Here are some things to consider before you say "I Do."

Defining Marriage

What is marriage? Some people see it as a sacred bond between a man and a man that's honored by God. Others as a civil union recognized by the government. And some even look at it as a way to save money and live a more comfortable lifestyle. With all these mixed messages, it can be difficult to determine the true meaning of a marriage, so I'll just say this:

Marriage is exactly what you see fit for it to be. Every couple is different and what's best for one may be obsolete for another. It's important to respect how the people in your life have chosen to be married, because frankly, it's not your job to make people do what you think is right in a marriage. Whether good or bad, it belongs to them so mind your business! It's important to sit together and decide what you will honor in your marriage and what won't be tolerated.

Ball & Chain

There's an old figure of speech that once you get married, you lose your freedom, and that's why a lot of people are deafly afraid of commitment.

In my marriage, I don't feel chained down by our relationship; I'm set free! I can be my true self without fear when it comes to my husband. He uplifts me, supports my dreams, and gives me the room I need to keep growing as an individual. This is crucial. You still have to fulfill your commitments to yourself even though you're married.

Keep chasing your dreams, going out with your friends, and just being plain awesome. Just make sure that you know what behaviors would upset your spouse and avoid doing them. I know that sounds restricting to some of you, but you wouldn't want your mate to do the things that upset you either, so suck it up. It's in the name of love!

Finances

There are tons of stats out there about divorce, and the one I'm constantly hearing is that many marital problems revolve around money. It's already demanding to keep your relationship healthy, but when you add financial strain to the mix, it's a living nightmare! Imagine trying to live peacefully together amongst collector calls, eviction notices, and late fees. Not a pretty picture.

Get a financial plan together and follow it. Decide how bills will be paid and if you'll merge your funds or not. Create a strategy to get rid of debt and a savings plan. Set goals. And most importantly, do it together.

Role Play

You think it's a woman's job to cook and clean. They think both spouses should work full time. You think chores should be divided evenly. They think the man should be the one to bring in all the money to pay the bills. There's all kinds of ideas out there about what role each person has in a marriage, and this can trip you up in your relationship. If you're religious, this could impact your beliefs of the roles in a household as well. You need to discuss what each person can bring to the home in order to live harmoniously. For example, what if the husband can cook and the wife even burns buttered toast? You just going to eat charred food for the rest of your lives? You can agree on how your household will run and fulfill your agreed upon responsibilities. If both people are doing what they said they would do, what's there to argue about?

Children

This is a BIG deal. You're no longer talking about your own life, but complete responsibility for the life of a little human being. Someone's life literally being in your hands. This topic is not to be taken lightly.

Do you want kids? Do they? How she raised? Do you agree with how their family raised him? Do you believe in spanking children? What would you qualify as a spanking? Would you ever consider adoption? Are they against it? How strict were your parents? What if he doesn't believe in a curfew? What about dating rules and the birds and the bees talk?

See? It's a big freaking deal. Talk about it. Reflect, and talk some more. Keep talking on into your marriage and onto parenthood. Whatever you decide, be unified.


To be honest, there's no way to be fully prepared for marriage. It's a journey full of the unexpected but it can be heaven on earth. I really hope this was helpful, but if it wasn't, here is a list of ideas and resources for those thinking seriously about marriage.

• Seek marital counseling
• Take Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University course
• Attend a couple's retreat
• Visit the National Healthy Marriage website http://www.healthymarriageinfo.org/index.aspx
• Check out the Stronger Marriage website http://strongermarriage.org/